The town is flooded and i was accused of rape

Three of my vaery close male aquantances paid me a visit this morning. The television was on when they got here. I was watching Wedny Williams.

They interrupted our broadcast for news about the floods in Atlanta, wow, it's like Katrina, but with no warning and no hurricane.......on the other side of town....so, of course our attention was focused on the sights of six flags under water and I-20 and 75/85 all washed out.....houses up to the roof full of water......neighborhoods.....cars...

They showed a house that had caught fire...then they showed the fire truck that was about 10 feet away up to the roof stuck in water....house still burning......Of course we watched...

Then they went back to our regularly scheduled programming and the gentelmen asked me to turn from Wendy to sportscenter......I didn't even think about it at the time, but maybe , now that I am recanting it, I kinda felt weird about the floods, so I turned the tv off........

They protested, they did not want to talk.......they behaved like six year olds and accused me of being a bitch, being selfish, bullying them for their attention making them act against their will, but they are grown me who always have the ability to leave, I didn't drive them to my house and refuse to take them home......but I guess it was a spiritual ambush :)

So, one needed to make a run to the store, the other two accompanied him and informed me that they were gonna go listen to some poisonus music on the way to the store, they would be back.

I sat, knowing that the tv had to stay off, I read out of book I been meaning to properly start and finish called "power vs force: the hidden determinants of human behavior" By david r. hawkins.
I read about pride, and anger and love and neutrality......and then I put on the Jill scott song...."I'm still here".... and sat down to write a list to myself of topics to cover and research for the sake of my soul's curiosity as to the true meaning of these things I take for granted.....

1. Distractions - definition, applications.....

2. Equilibrium - What does it really mean, I been hearing it come up so much about human relationships, but I always thought it was a scientific term.

3. Hater/ Dislike/ Hate/ Not like/ Like/ Love/ Lover.......you get where thats going

4. Morals/ lessons....sitcoms...."the moral of the story is.........", what is my reason for being in any particular situation, what are my expectations, what do I want to learn, what am I being taught am I being studious and astute?

5. Quality vs quantity ...time..spent...money....energy....

6. Music = Soul Food= Goddie Mobb

7. Vibrations/ Callibrations/ Celebrations/ Ferquencies

8. Hindsight/ Retrospective/ Introspective/ External/ Internal/ Eternal

9. Mood- moodrings


Then I put on Talib's "Miss Hill" as the gentelmen came back in.........the asked me what I was listening to, what I was writing, what I was reading.....they said they were trying to show interest......I couldn't help but smile, and didn't know where to start, cause I'm not used to that approach from them........I let the "Still here" play for them and then read to them from the book, one informed me that he didn't want to talk about whatever I was talking about because it just didn't apply to his life right then.......okay......

I talked about the sugar experiments...where a person has one hand with artificial sweetener and one hand with real sugar, when tested, the hand with sugar is always stronger than the artificial one........in every second of life you are either moving toward strength or weakness......

Any way....the same one repeated that that had nothing to do with his situation......him, with no house, no job and a crazy baby mama......so, I brought up that human beings need routines to help them feel less stress, help them relax, thus the dependance on thechnology....

Another friend, who is married, said that he agrees with that, that when he has a plan and knows what he's gonna do, then he feels relaxed and calmed......and he loves his playstation and works hard and if he wants to play two three hours a day then he thinks that he deserves that reward to himself.....I understand that that his mentality......cause if he wasn't telling me this, I wouldn't know that's how he thought...he said we could raise everybodies energy level if I would turn to sportscenter and then watch some youtube videos......

Thats when I was accused of rape, making them do something against their will, they said they were changing up too much and they felt like they were on a rollar coaster and I was making them mentally tired.........

I said why, cause I'm making you use your brain? It's tiering to think your own original thoughts. They would prefer to listen to music they have heard before and think other people's supplied thoughts over and over again.......

They accuse me of having faults, of watching tv and being on the net, i tell them that I never deny my programming, i am always very aware of it........but i don't watch anything more than one time anymore, growing up we had a limited choice, so when I found something good I stuck with it, but now, I watch things once, if I have seen this movie or this episode before I keep it moving unless it's just extraodrinary i won't even watch it again for your sake.

But I keep saying, at least I'm active about it and not passive anymore......they left not long after, telling me that they felt like I was feeding off their attention and energy .......I was and it was a beautiful picture in my soul........them opening up their spirit and attention......although resentfully and reluctantly, utimatley they got the picture.........they bide we farwell saying, we finna go jump back into the world now, outta this worm hole.....rabbit hole...alternate dimension......i smiled......and these are some of my very best friends.......they resist me, but voluntarily come back for more....they look to me for movie and television reccomendations, pop culture updates, movements within the counter culture....I call them my personal antagonists, cause I know they love me, but they don't always like me.......prople don't always like school and medicine.....

But an insperational day all in all...I am praying about this flood and I ask for you all and yours to pray as well......