The relationships before

I already know before I start that there are people who will take offense to this blog. Tough. It's a blog. Suck it up.
I am not married and I don't have kids, but they seem to be all the rage. One of the best fashion accessories a girl who menstruates can have. I think it's like the whole tongue ring thing. Looks cool, you get one, all of a sudden you are swollen and uncomfortable and you don't even speak the same anymore. After a while it starts interfering in everyday things such as eating and working and talking on the phone. I don't know anyone who used to have a tongue ring that still has one.
I was born into and raised in a two, heterosexual, non abusive married parent household. I was not a mistake or an accident. I don't think that that makes me a superior person, but it does give me a framework. So people who were not raised in those conditions might have a different outlook might not, I can't speak from a place of authority on that.
So, when I get approached by men who have children I can't help but decline. I'm inexperienced at being a parent myself and I want the joys and the pains of learning to be mine just like everyone else has had theirs.
There are two main reasons why I don't want a readymade family.
1. I don't want my pregnancy or childbirth or anything of mine to ever be compared to when my guy went through it with some other chick. Don't compare me. Let me have mine just like they had theirs.
2. I don't want the schedule and needs of another woman to conflict anything in my relationship. I don't want to have to cancel and reschedule and share holidays and all that blended family extra crap. He said I could she said I couldn't step-mom can't break the tie cause she has no say in how this one gets raised.
I have made some tough decisions and let some real loving lovers go without bringing their seed into my present. Thank God! They are no longer around as a relationship, why would I want them to stay around just cause we have a child? I wouldn't. I want clean breaks and fresh starts. I want a man who was wise enough to make the same kind of decisions. I'm not bringing any baggage I don't think all the trunk space should be used up with his.
All this single mom stuff is really sickening. Because there are so many really good really strong single moms people are like cool...I can do this by myself....I don't need that MF....but you wouldn't be a mom without him. You needed him to get you pregnant. And imagine how much more super a supermom would be if she had a super dad around. Even more super and maybe less tired. Now I'm not talking about the looser dads. If you have a child with a looser man then I kind of chalk that up to your own stupidity. Use a condom or birth control when having sex with the stupid hottie. Don't have his baby and think all of a sudden he's going to get smart and move out of the basement.
I think children should be carefully planned for. Like buying a house or getting into college or anything else that you have to prepare for. and I don't mean registering at babies- r- us when you are 8months preg. I mean really planned. Like we have this money set away, we have insurance, we have looked at schools and discussed an educational plan, we have executers to our will, we have transportation and emergency funds, we have taken the classes and we know what to expect. We are eating right and preparing the best possible world we can make to bring a child into.
When people tell me they are pregnant I always ask if it was planned? This is 2008 are we still having babies by accident? Really? I accidentally had unprotected sex while not on birth control and he didn't pull out...how did this happen? Stupid people really should not be responsible for making someone else smart.
So I know that it goes down all day long all around the world. Everyday some unwed woman gets pregnant. I just don't want her and that having anything to do with me and mine. And when people start with all that you don't have to be married crap...I have to say...Why is it okay to commit to a child and not a wife. That's immature and disrespectful to the mother of that child. If you aren't sure about that lady...then maybe you should hold off on the child until you find the lady you are sure of. But hey if it works for you... just don't have your bad azz kids wondering the streets and cutting up in school. But I say...if you can't make them alone why would raising them alone be an option? Unless the Good Lord takes that man away or makes him crazy insane and puts him in a home, that's the only option I see for single moms and if my husband dies after we havekids....then I'm all about Brady bunchin it. Parents should be with other parents.
That being said, how hard is it to find a smart, responsible, heterosexual man who has no kids? I know it's a narrow bridge I'm walking on. Thank Goodness I believe that there is a man out there that was fashioned just for me and I'm not willing to have any old hand me down. I want my tailor made guy. I'm not going to settle for Mr. wrong cause I think that would hurt Mr. right's feelings. If I reach the age were I'm no longer fertile then a blended family might work, but as long as I have the ability to sprout my own fruit, I'm going to continue looking for just the right kind of fertilizer.
Oh…and let me not condemn the babies. Don't think I don't like kids. We love the babies and we feel sorry for the ones with stupid parents. But I don't ever hate on the babies. Once they get here then they are here and we can only hope it's not too rough or sad or confusing for them in their childhood, cause that's not fair to the babies. And we can only hope that they don't repeat the stupid cycle.
The only reason you should be bringing a child into this world is to raise an amazing person who makes the whole world a better place. Anything other than that is not necessary or useful and actually becomes a burden to the rest of mankind! I mean really…tell me another good reason for having a child?