This time...last year......

Since I have the writing bug...and I have some new readers.....Here is some more background......a blog I wrote for my myspace....last year.....about this time.....I still feel that way now...but I'm have made a business plan and have implemented and have infinatly more layers to the mission and goal than she did....last year.....so, that's another blog but, just for reading and background purposes I'm gonna post so of my older, more insightfull blogs.....I wanna know your stories and your thoughts and your truths on the subject matter......


Sunday, June 17, 2007


Hesitant

Current mood: contemplative

Category: Life

You all know I am usually anti-holiday. I don't think they come from a sincere place. I don't think that complying to them is sincere.


I also make up rational for everything I think and do....so maybe my rebellion today has to do with the fact that I didn't go to church this morning because I didn't want to celebrate father's day. and didn't want to be around folks who were celebrating it.


I am hesitant to give in to the powers that be and recognize Father's Day. Everyday is Father's day for me. Everyday that I am alive is because of my mother and my father....sooooooooo.....picking one day to tell them that I appreciate it kind of signifies that today it means something, but yesterday it didn't and tomorrow it won't.


I think the best present I can give my father is to not spend his money today. to eat stuff from the fridge that he already paid for. Maybe even cook it myself. To clean the house that he pays for. To walk the dogs that he has afforded me. Maybe do my hair, cause he likes for it to look nice. But shouldn't I be doing these things in honor of him everyday?


My dad would appreciate a well thought out business plan. Or for me to go sit with his mother and father and keep them company for a while. But shouldn't I do these things all the time in honor of my father?


My father never rejects gifts and cards, but I know that he dosen't want or need them today. I know what he wants and what he needs from me. and unless I am doing that everyday....it seems insincere to bring up today that he is a good father who deserves to be rewarded for his investment into his children.


He should be reaping daily. They should be reaping daily. If I really cared this day wouldn't make a difference. Everyday is father's day....like everyday is christmas....like everyday is our birthday and the present is a present....get it.

Maybe father's day means something different to illegitimate kids? Father's day should be free DNA testing day....now that's special.....